Category: Worry. Even though I no longer struggle with anxiety, (as a disorder), I have started to notice when I worry. Mostly it is about tiny issues, but fretting can have lasting negative effects. So for the next couple of weeks, I’d like to examine and eliminate the little worries that plague our lives.
Today’s word: Faith
Defined: Faith–belief that is not based on proof:
He had faith that the hypothesis would be substantiated by fact.
What it means to me: I don’t worry, because I know everything is going to work out for my good, even when I can’t see it. I am unimaginably Loved, by a Source that knows the outcome, so I don’t have to know all the answers.
Yesterday, I dropped by my doctor’s office to make an appointment for some lab work to be done. This is usually a straight-forward process that happens once a year. You see, several years (actually a couple of decades) ago, I had my thyroid gland removed. Every day since that procedure I have taken a little pill that artificially replaces the thyroid hormones in my body. Once a year I give some blood, we make sure my levels are where they should be, and my prescription gets regenerated for the next year. Easy peasy.
Well, yesterday was not quite like that. The receptionist gave me a judgmental look over her outdated computer monitor and told me I would have to speak with someone in the business office and to please have a seat. After a few fleeting thoughts about going to the principal’s office I was summoned. It turns out that I had an outstanding bill of several hundred dollars and it must be paid before I could proceed using their services. I assure you, I did not know that I owed this money, so that was a bit disturbing. With no way of paying the amount immediately, I smiled, apologized, and (a bit off balance), walked back out into the sunshine and got into my car.
The old me would have gone off the rails freaking out at this moment. You see, I can not go without my little pill. I have done it before and it is a terrible way to be. My metabolism will immediately start to slow, I will start losing my energy, I’ll be sleepy and fatigued, and let’s not even talk about the migraines and what happens to a person’s gut when the digestion process stops. I was looking at several days to a week without my meds. This would have been a perfectly acceptable reason to freak out.
But I didn’t. At all. I had this idea that everything was going to be okay.
I sat in my car for a moment, took a deep breath, and not knowing why, and not seeing any proof, I just knew it was going to be okay. I just needed to know what to do next.
And Bam! Just like that, I remembered that my health insurance had sent me this credit card that has money on it that can be spent on medical expenses. I don’t go to the doctor often so I never use it. I had forgotten all about it! The card had way more on it than I needed to pay the bill.
Sure, you can say that it wasn’t a miracle because the card already existed, but that’s not the point. The point is I was never worried. When I didn’t think I had an option, I still wasn’t worried. This is coming from a woman who, not long ago, spent every day in a battle against stress, fear, anxiety, and panic attacks. I was not worried. I knew everything was working out for my good. What a great way to live! Imagine a life without worry!
Takeaway: Faith is a state of mind. Faith is the simple knowledge that my life has a purpose and everything is working out the way it is supposed to. Faith brings peace and banishes fear.
Today’s goal: Today I will not worry, because my life is a journey and I have not yet arrived at the destination. I will have faith in my purpose, my destiny, and my Higher Power. EVERYTHING is going to be okay.
Affirmation to go: Romans 8:28 “And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.”